You hear a lot of people nowadays say chivalry is dead. The next thing you hear is each sex blaming the other for the death of chivalry. Is it that men just don’t care anymore or do women just aren't as receptive to chivalrous tactics anymore thus making them pointless? I've been thinking about this a lot lately so here is a blog post about chivalry.
The most popular side of the argument is that we as men just don’t care anymore. We aren't gentlemen anymore. We are more brash, ignorant, and self-centered than the men of past generations. This side is of course represented mainly by women. They feel they aren't treated and held at the same level that women of past generations were. Shit just isn't the same they say. My answer to this is that men respond to women, not the other way around. In most cases, the man approaches the women and whatever happens from there happens. The men act and the women react. The men that evoked those women to say chivalry is dead only met the standard the felt they needed to. The standard is set by women and met or surpassed by the man. Now of course in a perfect world men don’t need to see a standard and they just treat women the best way possible. But, we don’t live in a perfect world. The few men that brought a woman to say that shouldn't represent men as a whole. So in those scenarios where chivalry seemed dead, the dude just did what he felt he needed to, thus the standard he needed to meet (which was set by the woman herself) wasn't high enough. And whose fault is that?
The other and less popular side of the argument is it was in fact, women, who killed chivalry. Men say these women just aren't receptive to chivalrous act anymore. It isn't worth it anymore. These chicks don’t deserve the door being opened for them and nice dates and all that they say. The men feel that the women today don’t hold themselves to as high of a standard as women in past generations. Shit just isn't the same they say. My answer to this is the women these dudes are talking to have no standard set thus, the ball in is the man’s court. It is then the man’s standard that is the focus. In this case, the standard of the man is low enough to meet that same woman whose standard was too low or just didn't exist. Now those women without standards should not show a man how to treat a woman that does. So let’s say a man keeps dealing with and choosing women that in his mind don’t deserve that high level of respect and to be treated with chivalrous acts. Who is now at fault?
This is a rare scenario where I believe there are two truths.
First, as seen in both arguments, it is the person who is complaining that is usually at fault. If you complain about either sex, simply raise your standards. It really isn't that complicated. The past does not dictate the future, the present does. To put it plainly, you keep fucking with ain't-shit individuals, you will get ain't-shit results.
The second truth here blames social media. Chivalry does not exist AT ALL on social media. Chivalry on social media is deemed as “thirst”. It is so bad that even in person; chivalry can be seen as thirst. It’s almost crazy if you think about it. Maybe it’s Because of the Internet (capitalized for a reason a few people will know, if you don’t know, carry on). Being nice, being chivalrous, is seen as thirsty and way to straight forward. I know a few women that if a door was opened for them and then the man went on to say how beautiful they are and all that; they would probably later on call him thirsty to their friends or whoever would listen.
Our generation doesn't really understand chivalry. Maybe because, for the most part, we’re more awkward. I don’t know. Maybe our generation just doesn't know how to, for the most part, find, execute, and respond to chivalry properly. What I do know is, if at least for those reasons, and at least in its old form, chivalry had to die.
Not to say that chivalry and a good response to it is impossible to find, just that the idea is endangered, thus making it very hard to find. Kinda goes along with idea of slim pickings. Good luck.